You are standing on the last step of a very tall ladder. No matter if you bend forward. No matter if you look back down, turning your head.


Vertigo is a state.


Everything in your life, doesn’t just look – impossible. Everything is impossible.


Your soul screams and yells like a spoiled little kid, stamping the ground. You are restless. There is no way you can sleep.


There is a self-container called body which still performs involuntary caring stuff for you.


Is there a sound out there that makes you fall in love like once?


When it’s time for the tired sun to depart, you can’t force yourself not to stare at the moon.

Wrapped among a bunch of creamy whipped clouds, deep down yourself you know it stands there for a reason.


It is there for you to remember that there is a majestic beauty we can’t deny.


It is not the beauty of the things we look at.


The beauty is in our eyes.


If you keep on looking at the moon, you will feel these words I am writing coming to life like wooden letters peeling out from cedar circles.


You just need to be brave and listen.


Even if you are still at the last step of that ladder.


Especially the day you will find yourself at the last step of that tall ladder.


You still have vertigo.


Everything is the same.


Still is the state now because it looks so scaring not to cling to it anymore. It has become your friend.


It is now that the longest time arrives.


Be prepared to wait.


Just. Wait.


Be brave.


It takes more courage to wait than taking that rushed action or saying those impulsive words.


One day that now looks light years away, you will hear a click in your head.


It will be like your tongue drowning into an ocean of dark chocolate fudge.


It will be like an offspring of warm energy making you high and then higher and then more higher.


You will be endless thankful for having held onto that ladder so tightly.

The storm which tried so badly to knock you down eventually had to sail elsewhere for weaker souls.


One comment

  1. […] – it took me a couple of months of serious struggles. Months of thinking, calculating and looking at things from far […]


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