An email that I will never send

Dear friend,

It’s funny as you are not my friend, you’ve never been.

I don’t have words for you. I have been putting random words on this piece of an e-paper for the past 60 seconds, but the reality is that I will never write to you because I don’t have anything to say to you. The me of today, has nothing to say. Things change and we, people, can change overnight. I realize this, myself feels this idea so strongly. We are flowing rivers, as some wise one would say.

It is nice to remember those moments for me. And it is true if I say I am not mad at you. I am grown up enough to grasp the idea that we are really the masters of our actions at the end of the day. I knew the moment I left you slip inside my secrets I could have been hurt.

I had around 40 hours of physical pain after your houdini-style departure. I never felt such pain, like if something from inside was removed from my skin, bones and flesh. It was so sweet to let you in, so that’s the price that I had to pay back when I imposed to myself to kick you out, I guess. The universe inside me was spinning.

Since not that long time ago I have stopped thinking about you in that sense. All the vibes, all the words, all the evidence. The only thing I really think about is that energy . The mirrored feelings I could spy inside myself through your eyes. I did see and experienced myself from the outside for a short time – and it was shocking.

If I could ever come back, I would do it again not one time but a thousand, a million times. For this reason, I only have one thing that I could now say to you… thank you.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: