Two months ago, back to Dublin after 3 months of hopping Greek islands, I stepped into my bedroom with a golden tan and an English teaching certificate in my pocket. When I realised how many things were squeezed within four walls – especially what I didn’t have any clue about – I stopped for a minute. Euro banknotes shaped as several expensive Chanel scents and makeup seemed not to make sense anymore.
All those payslips wasted in skirts and high heels – items I bought because hungover shopping was one of my favourite hobbies. Finding unknown lingerie still packed with ribbons made me feel overwhelmed. Dusty Philosophy books I never even flick through – 50 shades of Grey was my most exciting reading! *blush*
My solo trip had changed me in so many ways. Memories of blue waters and loud echos of laughs were filling my senses while trying to make an order not really in my bedroom – but my life.
I didn’t take many pictures, I didn’t care when my HTC broke and back home that gloomy July afternoon, I didn’t bother about the washing machine with hiccups. For the first time, money didn’t make any real difference as a tool to get what I wanted because this trip shook me so much that suddenly I realised- I didn’t know where I was standing. I wrote down:
I am made of flesh, blood and heart. I am sick of possessions that end up owning me. Travelling planted a seed – the desire of living the moment.
I want to forget all I have been accustomed to until now. I want to set myself free, from my past and my prejudices.
The economic system, our welfare, culture and long-life routines make us addicted to liable things. I had been dependant on them as a heroin user drooling for a fix. I used to be one of those – able to lose my mind with a mobile phone missing. Or with no battery on a Friday night.
Why is all that? What’s the real meaning of the things we give to plastic, glass, pixels, shoes-inches?
Only memories stay, no matter how many years will go by, we will always remember our first kiss and boyfriend’s perfume. All that is worth keeping is what we carry in the best backpack of all – our heart.